On January 18th I got my white chip from AA. One thing about me is I am an open book. I am not afraid to admit my flaws and mistakes to you or to myself. I picked up another white chip this week.
What many of you don’t know is I was literally minutes from taking my own life that day. I was at bottom. Empty. Lost. One thing that saved me was remembering the people before me that left that way and what it left behind. There was no warning. In that brief moment, I remembered that my friend Dee mentioned something about AA a couple weeks prior in a Facebook message. Not directed at me, just in passing that she was going with a friend when we were discussing what we had going on that day. That, planted a seed. I reached out, and we went to a meeting that night. I knew it was my last chance and that I needed to at least say it out loud. Be honest and upfront. That moment saved my life. I walked out of that room with a list of names and numbers of people that cared. I had options. That pause and second chance was all it took.
To say that the past 4 months has been a ride is beyond an understatement. I have learned so much about myself. I have a long journey ahead of me and as of Monday, I am more hopeful and excited than I have been in years. Am I perfect? Nope. No one is. Progress over perfection is where I am at. I am off to do the next right thing.
Caroline, thank you for your late night message.
Thank you all who are here, thank you all who have been here and thank you to those to come. If you read all this and watched the video, good on ya!
Whoever watches this, I hope this finds you well. It’s ok to share this if you think someone needs to hear it.
Here are my playlists. I hope you can get something out of them.They will evolve over time.